Gonster With the Wind
The viral Guinness blend that goes against all that is good
Like a brief but violent summer rainstorm on a Floridian afternoon, the “Gonster” is a trend that would be right at home in the sunshine state. One part Guinness Stout and one part Monster energy drink combine to make a beverage that one doesn’t need to try to believe. But on this past Saturday, I undertook the task of recreating this beverage as a start to some Saint Patrick’s Day activities.
I first encountered the Gonster, or what some people call the Billie Irish, last spring when it was going around the internet. At the time I thought it was novel and considered trying it on my own. But as most memes and viral posts, it was quickly forgotten as society moved on to the next trend.
But then, a couple of weeks ago, it popped up in my timeline again, this time on a post from Pints & Panels about different Guinness blends.
I’ve been known to blend random beers together just to see what they’d be like. And knowing this, a few of my friends has sent me this post. So, I took it as a sign and decided that I needed to try the Gonster this year.
I’m not a big fan of Guinness or energy drinks for that matter, but nevertheless I set out upon this quest. I hoped to find a store where I could purchase a single can of Guinness and a single can of Monster, but that wasn’t meant to be. Each grocery store and bottle shop I checked mostly sold Guinness in a minimum of 4-packs. So, I ended up with more of each than originally intended.
That just meant that I was going to have to share this experience with a few extra friends and subject them to my whims. So I invited them over to try it as a sort of pre-game to our pub crawl that afternoon.
To build the Gonster, you need your two ingredients, a pint glass, and a bar spoon. First, pour about 8 ounces into the glass. Then follow that by pouring around 8 ounces of Guinness over a bar spoon to layer it on top of the energy drink. This ends up creating a nice looking layered drink that is ready to be consumed.
According to the internet, I should have used the nitro version of Monster, but I didn’t know that was a thing and have never seen it in the stores anyway. So, we used good old classic Monster. I gave it a little more of a hard pour to create a head on it so that it was easier to layer the Guinness on top. And since it was the regular Monster, the color wasn’t the bright green that I had originally hoped for. (Next time, I made add a bit of food coloring to get that more toxic appearance.)
I wasn’t sure if this drink was intended to be sipped and enjoyed slowly, or chugged and downed as quickly as possible. I chose chug route, because that seemed like it would give the most bang for the buck.
It started smooth and creamy from the nitro stout, but then that citric acid taurine bomb hits and wipes it all away. In the end, it left a lingering taste in mouth that lasted way longer than I would’ve liked. If you’ve had Malört, think of how that aftertaste sits with you. It’s not quite as bad as that, but if gives off the same vibes.
I’ve read other accounts where people say this is a tasty combination and others where people abhor it. But regardless, it gets everyone talking about it. I posted this concoction to my Instagram stories and had plenty of responses and reactions to it. So many in fact, that I decided to write this whole post about it.
This drink may have started in Florida, and thanks to the internet it escaped those borders. All I know is that this is one thing they can keep on their shores. The one good thing about it was that it did get me wired and amped up for an afternoon of fun. Making it a pour man’s Four Loko.
After this experience, have I learned a lesson about not mixing things together just for the fun of it? Absolutely not! I will continue to mix beers to my hearts content. That’s part of the fun of drinking for me. Plus learning about and experiencing how other peoples cultures influence their drinking styles and choices is fascinating. And whether or not you agree, I leave you with the words of Rhett Butler from the classic film Gone With the Wind, “Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.”